Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

 Featured image

Alright, it’s time for you to stop slacking, people! Eighteen days into 2015 already. What have YOU done to unleash your evil inner genius? NADA, that’s what (sigh). Howard and I are deeply disappointed. We need you to work on your public disservice goals for your Consortium of Evil application. They look at these things, you know. Don’t worry…Nothing big to start —not like Howard’s Fifth Grade “death ray from microwave parts” project, which pissed Mama Mimi off to no end—just a little weirdness. Buy a wig. A hat. An inappropriate tee shirt and suspenders, for God’s sake. Get them, wear them, and take a ride on a public elevator in a shopping mall facing the back. Hum or sing “Henry the Eighth, I Am, I Am” and do an interpretive dance. Wander around a book store (completely sober) muttering “One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Pomatomus saltatrix.” When someone asks you what a pomatomus saltatrix is, call them an ignorant banana-head and instruct them to Google it, if they know what GOOGLE is. What are you waiting for? Time is a-wasting. Go be weird and tell us about it, so we can add it to your nefarious resume!!!!!