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Look…I didn’t want to have to do this. Really, I didn’t. But you’re never going to become an evil genius this way. There is a certain level of shenanigans required and, well, you just aren’t living up to the standard, not even for a novice. Stop being such a lemming. Go steal a pen or something, set off a fire alarm, send a group email to the wrong group for God’s sake. You need to be more evil. Don’t make me tell you twice.

If I am forced to have this talk with you again…well, it certainly won’t be as nice. There might be name calling and wild gesticulating and perhaps a few references to blood diamonds thrown in there, just to irritate you. Nobody likes blood diamonds.

They’re all diamond-y, sure, but then there’s the whole blood part.