Exotic Resort

To whom it may concern:

This is completely unacceptable. Seriously, the names of your company and theirs are far too close. It’s only ONE STUPID APOSTROPHE, and you should be sued. At the very least, when I return, I am lodging a formal complaint against your travel agency. I mean, I thought we were headed to some tropical locale where unbelievably attractive women catered to our every need. This was supposed to spice up our marriage, for Christ’s sake. Instead, we were welcomed by snow, and primitive huts, and coarse, Scandinavian brutes with scars, big swords, and bad hygiene. And, Dear God, I can’t believe I’m saying this, those bastards have actually taken my wife. Linda is gone, and I’m a middle-aged stockbroker with fat fingers and absolutely no idea how to use a sword in combat.

You people are horrible, Valhalla is a lie, and I hope you BURN in Viking HELL.

Sincerely,

Steven     (P.S. Text created by author Jennifer Fales)