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I see how you look at her.

Like tuna straight from the can.

Like the lizard I played with until it died.

Like the mousie I beheaded last spring.

You, with your useless blunt teeth.

You, with your stupid sports car.

I know you want to bite her.

I know you want to scratch her.

I know you want to purr for her.

You ridiculous, furless bastard.

By my whiskers and all that is holy…

She is mine and mine alone.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS.