4th of july, Absurdity, B-movie style, Bambi, brain eaters, cheesy, Creativity, dark humor, Entertainment, Fales, Fiction, Hookers Without Borders, Horror, horror comedy, Humor, Jennifer Fales, made for cable, Sarcasm, satire, Skittles, Whore Core, Writing, Zombies
Okay, so, we might have embarrassed the Mayor a bit by calling in HWB (Hookers Without Borders) to help on the Fourth of July, but … the Mayor can go blow himself. These women are tenacious and the Zombie Menace wasn’t going to take care of itself.
It certainly wasn’t getting done by Mr. Big Shot and his bloated, preening constituents circling their wagons and battening down the hatches. Or whatever it was those turncoats wanted us to think they were doing (caucus, my sweet ass) after they locked themselves and their families safely underground. So, local politics exited stage left, and Skittles, Bambi, and a bunch of other plucky sex workers named after candy and animals swept in to save the day.
I’m telling you, those gals worked like a close-knit team, something you rarely see in legislature and governance these days. On day two, they voted on a fighting name and started calling themselves the Whore Core. The townsfolk were hesitant to use it, at first … I mean, come on, we knew that term wasn’t exactly PC, and it kind of pissed off one or two of our feminists. Hell, you’d have thought the women of the HWB would have found the word offensive, themselves, but they said it was the best alternative. Nothing else rhymed with Core and Slaughter Daughters was just lame.
The uniform they came up with was kind of a cross between Daisy Mae from Li’l Abner and a home improvement store mascot-turned-construction worker. Don’t know why, but there was just something about the yellow rubber gloves that really set it all off. If you ask me, I think they were supposed to be symbolic—a reminder of the quintessential 1950’s stereotypical women’s work being used to kick ass after the men turned tail and fled.
Well, technically, I guess it’s chop ass, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, now that all the zombies are kindling, some of the WC ladies have decided to stick around. Skittles is running for Mayor, Bambi’s set up a nice Bed & Breakfast downtown, and a few others are teaching self-defense against the undead at the local gym.
I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not just the women—plenty of young men in the community have signed up for classes, too.
*It was high time I did a B-movie style exploitation post … Want more zombies? Check out The Robusta Incident! *